


Abed's Secret

by AllThoseOtherWorlds



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Episode Related, Episode: s04e09 Intro to Felt Surrogacy, Friendship, Gen, Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThoseOtherWorlds/pseuds/AllThoseOtherWorlds
Summary: Like the rest of the group, Abed told one of his deepest secrets while under the influence of the drug berries. Like the rest of the group, he reveals it again while sober.Unlike with the rest of the group, it's not something he thinks he's ashamed of.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Community.
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are welcome!
> 
> There's one mildly ableist religious line from Shirley.

“Wait, Abed, you never told us your secret,” Britta said, interrupting the Dean. The rest of the group made noises of agreement and turned to Abed expectantly.

Truthfully, Abed had almost forgotten that he’d told them a secret at all - whatever was in those berries had hit him pretty strongly, and he didn’t really remember much of that night. Unfortunately, once reminded of it he found he remembered enough.

The rest of the group had shared their deepest secrets - things they were deeply ashamed of. Abed didn’t know what that made him. He didn’t think he was ashamed, but he also didn’t really want people to know. It made things… complicated. He didn’t like complicated unless it was the plot of an Inspector Spacetime episode, where the complication was something that would all make sense by the end when the Inspector and Reggie went flying off happily to another adventure.

But this wasn’t a TV show.

“I’m autistic,” he said. “I looked it up and talked to the therapist here - sorry Britta - and although I’m not confident in her credentials she agrees with me.”

The group was silent for a moment, and Abed hated it. Tones of voice weren’t the easiest to read, but at least when people were speaking there was _something_ for him to work with. Faces were harder, plus you had to look at them all at once so he had to swivel his head back and forth. He twisted his pencil in his hands nervously.

“Abed,” Britta began, before being cut off by Jeff.

-“Yeah, we already knew that,” he said. “I called that when we first met, didn’t I? Got you beat, Britta!”

“You said that as an _insult_ , Jeff,” Britta pointed out. “I don’t think that counts. Anyway,” she turned back to Abed, “I, as a qualified psych major, lend my professional support to that diagnosis. And also I thought it was common knowledge.”

“Uhh, not to be left out, you guys, but what’s ‘autistic’ mean?” Troy asked. “Is it like artistic? Or an old-timey thing?”

“You’re thinking of o-u-g-h-t,” Abed told him. He spun the pencil a little more rapidly now. He didn’t know if he was anxious or excited or some other emotion entirely, but he was sure he was something. “Autism spectrum disorder is a developmental disorder characterized by social, sensory, and other differences. Some people use the term ‘Aspergers Syndrome’ instead, but it was recently merged with autism.”

“Thanks,” Troy said. “Could you explain more later?”

“Sure,” Abed told him.”

“Abed, is this the only secret you told that night?” Annie asked.

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Abed,” Shirley told him. “The Lord makes us all special in different ways.”

Abed ignored the last half of Shirley’s comment, in the interests of keeping the peace. Instead, he answered the more relevant parts of what was said. “In movies, the only autistic characters are usually children or are treated like children by the narrative, possibly with the stipulation that they have some special skill that compensates for their inconvenience to the other characters,” he explained. “I thought that it was better to stick with the ambiguous disorder trope, which is characterized by quirky behaviours usually indicative of some neurological difference that is never diagnosed, but which characters tolerate and occasionally value, despite the character still being seen as fundamentally broken.”

“Abed, you’re not broken,” Britta told him.

“I know,” he said. “Most of the time. But I couldn’t be sure all of you knew that. This is one of the situations without much trustworthy precedent in popular media. I suppose I could have guessed, but I decided not to risk it.” He paused for a moment, thinking. “I guess that’s one good thing to come out of those berries.”

“Aww,” Annie and Shirley said, somehow in unison.

A beat passed, and the conversation moved on. Shirley thanked Jeff and reassured him that he wasn’t like his father. Jeff reassured Shirley about her parenting, and the pattern continued. Abed nodded and shook his head at the right moments, and breathed a small sigh of relief as they all left the room.

They knew. They knew, and they’d reacted well, and although he would obviously have to wait longer to be sure, he didn’t think they would treat him differently. Maybe he’d escaped being a bad trope after all.

Maybe he was the start of a new one.


End file.
